New Year's Eve Intentions
Moving Beyond Resolutions to Sustainable Change
Published by Nina | End of the Year | The Resolution Graveyard in My Journal
I used to have a graveyard of abandoned New Year's resolutions scattered throughout my journals. "Lose 20 pounds." "Work out every day." "Drink more water." "Be more positive." By February, these bold declarations had become sources of shame rather than motivation, reminders of another year where I'd failed to become the person I thought I should be.
The breaking point came three years ago when I found myself writing essentially the same resolutions I'd written for the past five years. Same goals, same approach, same inevitable failure by Valentine's Day. That's when I realized the problem wasn't my willpower or motivation—it was the entire framework I was using to create change.
What if instead of forcing ourselves into rigid boxes of "should" and "must," we approached the new year with curiosity about who we're becoming? What if we honored our cyclical nature as women and worked with our biology instead of against it? What if we set intentions that felt like coming home to ourselves rather than trying to become someone else entirely?
This shift from resolutions to intentions wasn't just semantic—it was revolutionary. It changed how I approach goal-setting, habit formation, and most importantly, how I treat myself when progress isn't linear. Ready to ditch the all-or-nothing mentality and create changes that actually stick?
The Neuroscience of Why Resolutions Fail
The Dopamine Trap of Goal Setting
Traditional resolutions fail because they're built on a fundamental misunderstanding of how motivation and habit formation actually work. When you set a big, ambitious goal like "lose 30 pounds" or "completely overhaul my diet," your brain gets a dopamine hit from imagining the end result. This feels good—so good that your brain sometimes mistakes this imaginary success for actual progress [1].
The problem is that dopamine is designed to motivate action, not sustain it. Once you've gotten that initial hit from setting the goal, your motivation naturally decreases. This is why so many people feel incredibly motivated on January 1st but struggle to maintain that enthusiasm by mid-January.
For women, this dopamine crash is often compounded by hormonal fluctuations throughout our menstrual cycle. During the luteal phase (the two weeks before your period), dopamine sensitivity decreases while cortisol sensitivity increases, making it much harder to maintain motivation for new habits. This biological reality means that resolution-based approaches are essentially setting us up to fail.
The Prefrontal Cortex Fatigue Factor
Your prefrontal cortex—the part of your brain responsible for executive function, decision-making, and willpower—operates like a muscle. It gets fatigued with use and needs time to recover. Traditional resolutions typically require constant prefrontal cortex engagement: resisting temptations, making difficult choices, and overriding habitual behaviors.
This is particularly problematic for women because we typically carry more cognitive load through emotional labor, multitasking, and decision fatigue from managing multiple responsibilities. By the time evening rolls around, our prefrontal cortex is already depleted, making it nearly impossible to stick to rigid resolution-based changes.
The solution isn't more willpower—it's creating systems that require less conscious effort and work with your brain's natural patterns rather than against them.
The Intention Revolution: A Biological Approach
Understanding Neuroplasticity and Gradual Change
Your brain is constantly rewiring itself based on your thoughts, behaviors, and experiences—a process called neuroplasticity. However, significant neural rewiring takes time, typically 66-254 days for a new habit to become automatic, depending on the complexity of the behavior [2]. This timeline varies significantly based on your current stress levels, sleep quality, and hormonal status.
Intentions work with neuroplasticity rather than against it by focusing on gradual, sustainable changes that allow your brain to adapt slowly. Instead of shocking your system with dramatic lifestyle overhauls, intentions create gentle, consistent pressure that guides your brain toward new neural pathways without triggering stress responses that can sabotage change.
For women, this approach is particularly effective because it honors the cyclical nature of our energy, motivation, and capacity. Rather than expecting linear progress, intentions allow for natural fluctuations while maintaining overall forward momentum.
The Hormonal Cycle of Change
Your menstrual cycle creates predictable patterns in energy, focus, and motivation that can be leveraged for more effective goal pursuit. During the follicular phase (days 1-14), rising estrogen increases dopamine sensitivity and cognitive flexibility, making this an ideal time for starting new habits or tackling challenging goals.
The ovulatory phase (days 12-16) brings peak energy and confidence, perfect for pushing comfort zones and taking bold actions. The luteal phase (days 17-28) shifts focus inward, with rising progesterone supporting reflection and refinement of existing habits rather than starting new ones.
Working with these natural rhythms rather than against them creates a sustainable approach to change that feels supportive rather than punitive. This cyclical approach to intentions allows you to honor your body's natural patterns while still making consistent progress toward your goals.
The Architecture of Intentions: Building for Success
Identity-Based Change vs. Outcome-Based Goals
The most powerful intentions focus on identity rather than outcomes. Instead of "I want to lose 20 pounds," try "I am becoming someone who nourishes her body with intention." Instead of "I will work out five times a week," consider "I am someone who moves her body joyfully and consistently."
This shift activates different neural pathways and creates sustainable motivation. When your identity aligns with your desired behaviors, actions become expressions of who you are rather than external impositions on who you think you should be. Each small action reinforces your new identity, creating a positive feedback loop that builds momentum over time [3].
For women, identity-based intentions are particularly powerful because they honor the complexity of our lives and roles. Rather than adding more items to an already overwhelming to-do list, they create a framework for making decisions that align with who you're becoming.
The Minimum Effective Dose Principle
Traditional resolutions often fail because they require too much change too quickly, overwhelming your brain's capacity for adaptation. The minimum effective dose principle suggests that small, consistent actions often produce better results than sporadic intense efforts.
This principle is rooted in the concept of hormesis—the biological phenomenon where small amounts of stress actually strengthen systems. Applied to habit formation, this means that tiny, manageable changes create just enough positive stress to promote growth without triggering overwhelm responses that lead to abandonment.
For example, instead of committing to hour-long workouts every day, start with five minutes of movement each morning. Instead of overhauling your entire diet, begin by adding one vegetable to each meal. These micro-changes feel manageable and sustainable while still creating meaningful progress over time.
Environmental Design for Success
Your environment is constantly shaping your behavior, often without your conscious awareness. Intentional environmental design can make desired behaviors easier while making undesired behaviors more difficult, reducing the need for willpower and conscious decision-making.
This approach works by leveraging your brain's tendency to choose the path of least resistance. When healthy choices are convenient and unhealthy choices require more effort, you naturally drift toward behaviors that support your intentions without feeling deprived or restricted.
Environmental design is particularly effective for women because it addresses the reality of our often complex, busy lives. Rather than relying on perfect motivation or unlimited willpower, it creates systems that support your intentions even when life gets overwhelming.
The Four Pillars of Sustainable Intention Setting
Pillar 1: Biological Alignment
Sustainable intentions must align with your biological reality as a woman. This means honoring your menstrual cycle, recognizing that energy and motivation naturally fluctuate, and designing intentions that work with these patterns rather than against them.
Cycle Syncing Your Intentions: Plan more challenging or new activities during your follicular and ovulatory phases when energy and motivation are naturally higher. Use your luteal phase for reflection, refinement, and gentle maintenance of existing habits. During menstruation, focus on rest and restoration rather than pushing through fatigue.
Circadian Rhythm Optimization: Align your intentions with your natural daily energy patterns. Schedule high-focus activities during your personal peak hours (often morning for most women) and use lower-energy times for gentler practices like stretching, meditation, or meal prep.
Stress Response Awareness: High cortisol levels impair habit formation and decision-making. Design intentions that reduce rather than increase your overall stress load, and build in recovery practices that support your nervous system.
Pillar 2: Psychological Safety
Creating change requires psychological safety—the feeling that you can experiment, make mistakes, and adjust course without judgment or shame. Traditional resolutions often create psychological danger by framing any deviation as failure, which triggers stress responses that actually make change more difficult.
Progress Over Perfection: Design intentions that celebrate progress rather than demanding perfection. Track implementation (how often you engage with your intention) rather than just outcomes. This keeps you focused on the process rather than getting discouraged by variable results.
Compassionate Self-Talk: Pay attention to your internal dialogue around your intentions. Harsh self-criticism activates stress responses that impair learning and adaptation. Practice speaking to yourself the way you would speak to a beloved friend who's trying to make positive changes.
Flexible Implementation: Build flexibility into your intentions from the beginning. Instead of rigid rules, create guidelines that can be adapted based on your current circumstances, energy levels, and life demands.
Pillar 3: Social and Environmental Support
Humans are social creatures, and our environment significantly influences our behavior. Sustainable intentions require supportive social connections and environmental conditions that make success more likely.
Community Integration: Share your intentions with supportive people who understand your approach and can provide encouragement during challenging times. This doesn't mean broadcasting every goal on social media, but rather cultivating relationships that support your growth.
Environmental Optimization: Design your physical environment to support your intentions. This might mean meal prepping on Sundays, laying out workout clothes the night before, or creating a dedicated space for meditation or journaling.
Boundary Setting: Sustainable change often requires saying no to things that don't align with your intentions. Practice setting boundaries that protect your energy and focus for what matters most to you.
Pillar 4: Meaningful Connection
Your intentions must connect to something deeper than surface-level desires. The most sustainable changes are those that align with your values, contribute to your sense of purpose, and feel meaningful in the context of your larger life story [4].
Values Alignment: Identify the core values that drive your intentions. Are you seeking health because you value vitality and presence with your family? Are you pursuing career goals because you value contribution and growth? When your intentions align with your deeper values, motivation becomes more sustainable.
Purpose Integration: Connect your intentions to how they serve not just you, but others in your life. This might be modeling healthy habits for your children, having more energy to contribute to causes you care about, or developing skills that allow you to help others more effectively.
Legacy Consideration: Think about the person you're becoming through pursuing your intentions. How do these changes contribute to the legacy you want to leave and the story you want to tell about your life?
Practical Framework: The FLOW Method
F - Feel Into Your Body's Wisdom
Before setting any intentions, spend time connecting with your body's wisdom. Your body holds information about what you need for optimal health and well-being, but this intelligence is often drowned out by external shoulds and social expectations.
Body Scanning: Practice regular body scans to notice what your body is telling you about energy, stress, and needs. This information can guide your intentions toward what will truly serve your well-being.
Energy Tracking: Track your energy levels throughout your cycle and daily rhythms. Use this data to inform when and how you pursue your intentions, working with your natural patterns rather than against them.
Intuitive Check-Ins: Before making decisions related to your intentions, pause and check in with your intuition. Does this choice feel expansive or contractive? Does it align with your body's needs in this moment?
L - Leverage Natural Rhythms
Design your intentions to work with your natural biological and psychological rhythms rather than against them. This creates sustainability and reduces the willpower required to maintain new habits.
Menstrual Cycle Integration: Plan your month based on your cycle phases. Use your follicular phase for starting new habits, your ovulatory phase for challenging yourself, your luteal phase for refinement, and your menstrual phase for rest and reflection.
Seasonal Awareness: Adjust your intentions based on seasonal changes. Winter intentions might focus more on rest, restoration, and internal practices, while spring and summer intentions might emphasize more active pursuits.
Daily Rhythm Optimization: Schedule activities that require focus and energy during your personal peak hours, and use lower-energy times for gentler practices.
O - Optimize for Small Wins
Focus on creating small, consistent wins that build momentum and confidence over time. Small wins activate reward pathways in your brain, creating positive associations with your new behaviors.
The Two-Minute Rule: Make your intentions so small they can be completed in two minutes or less when you're starting. This removes barriers to entry and makes it easier to maintain consistency.
Habit Stacking: Attach new intentions to existing, well-established habits. This leverages your brain's existing neural pathways and makes new behaviors more automatic.
Celebration Practices: Actively celebrate small wins and progress. This might be as simple as acknowledging your effort, sharing with a supportive friend, or marking progress in a journal.
W - Weave in Flexibility and Compassion
Build flexibility and self-compassion into your approach from the beginning. This prevents the all-or-nothing thinking that derails traditional resolutions and creates space for the natural ups and downs of change.
Implementation Flexibility: Create multiple ways to engage with your intentions based on your current capacity. Have options for high-energy days, low-energy days, and everything in between.
Recovery Protocols: Plan for setbacks and challenges. Having a plan for getting back on track reduces the shame and momentum loss that typically accompany perceived "failures."
Self-Compassion Practices: Develop a toolkit of self-compassion practices for when things don't go according to plan. This might include specific phrases you tell yourself, breathing exercises, or other practices that help you treat yourself with kindness.
Advanced Strategies: Biohacking Your Intentions
Chronobiology and Timing
Your body operates on multiple biological clocks that influence everything from hormone production to cognitive performance. Leveraging chronobiology—the study of biological rhythms—can significantly enhance your ability to maintain intentions.
Ultradian Rhythms: Your brain naturally cycles through 90-120 minute periods of high focus followed by 20-minute periods of lower focus. Schedule demanding activities during natural high-focus periods and use low-focus periods for rest or easier tasks.
Cortisol Awakening Response: Your cortisol naturally spikes 30-45 minutes after waking, providing natural energy and focus. This is an ideal time for challenging intentions like exercise or important work projects.
Evening Wind-Down: As melatonin production begins in the evening, your body naturally prepares for rest. Use this time for gentle intentions like stretching, journaling, or meditation rather than stimulating activities.
Neurotransmitter Optimization
Understanding how different activities affect your brain chemistry can help you design intentions that naturally feel good and sustainable.
Dopamine Systems: Activities that provide regular small rewards (like checking off daily habits or celebrating small wins) support healthy dopamine function and maintain motivation over time.
Serotonin Support: Practices that boost serotonin (like gratitude, connection with others, and exposure to natural light) improve mood and make it easier to maintain positive habits.
GABA Enhancement: Activities that increase GABA (like deep breathing, yoga, or meditation) reduce anxiety and create the calm focus needed for consistent habit implementation.
Stress Resilience Building
Chronic stress is one of the biggest obstacles to sustainable change. Building stress resilience into your intentions creates a foundation for long-term success.
Hormetic Stress: Include small amounts of beneficial stress (like cold exposure, challenging workouts, or learning new skills) that strengthen your stress response systems.
Recovery Practices: Balance any challenging intentions with adequate recovery practices like quality sleep, relaxation techniques, or time in nature.
Nervous System Regulation: Include practices that specifically support nervous system health, such as breathwork, gentle movement, or mindfulness practices.
Creating Your Personal Intention Ritual
The New Year's Eve Intention Ceremony
Instead of making resolutions on January 1st, create a meaningful ceremony on New Year's Eve that honors the year behind you and sets intentions for the year ahead.
Reflection Phase: Spend time reviewing the past year with curiosity and compassion. What worked well? What challenged you? What did you learn about yourself? Write these insights down without judgment.
Release Phase: Identify any beliefs, habits, or patterns that no longer serve you. Write these on pieces of paper and safely burn them or bury them as a symbolic release.
Intention Phase: Based on your reflections and what you've learned about yourself, set 1-3 intentions for the coming year. Focus on who you want to become rather than what you want to achieve.
Integration Phase: Create concrete plans for how you'll implement your intentions, including specific practices, environmental changes, and support systems.
Monthly and Weekly Intention Reviews
Sustainable change requires regular check-ins and adjustments. Create systems for reviewing and refining your intentions throughout the year.
Monthly Reviews: At the end of each month, review your intentions with curiosity. What worked well? What was challenging? How did your menstrual cycle affect your progress? What adjustments might serve you in the coming month?
Weekly Planning: Each week, look at your calendar and energy levels to plan how you'll engage with your intentions. This prevents intentions from becoming another source of stress and keeps them aligned with your current reality.
Seasonal Adjustments: As the seasons change, adjust your intentions to align with natural energy shifts and changing life circumstances.
Your Intention-Based Future Starts Now
As I sit here writing this, I'm thinking about the woman I was three years ago—frustrated with herself, disappointed by another year of broken resolutions, convinced that she just didn't have enough willpower or discipline to create lasting change. I wish I could tell her that she was never the problem. The system was the problem.
When I shifted from resolutions to intentions, everything changed—not dramatically overnight, but gradually, sustainably, in ways that honored who I was becoming rather than punishing who I had been. I learned to work with my cycle instead of against it, to celebrate small wins instead of waiting for perfection, and to treat myself with the compassion I would offer a dear friend.
This year, as you stand on the threshold of a new year, I invite you to try something different. Instead of making lists of things you need to fix about yourself, ask: who am I becoming? What does my body need to thrive? How can I honor my natural rhythms while still creating positive change?
Your intentions don't need to be perfect, and neither do you. They just need to be real, honest, and aligned with your deepest wisdom about what you need to flourish. Trust that small, consistent actions aligned with your values will create more lasting change than any dramatic resolution ever could.
The woman you're becoming is already within you. Your intentions are simply the path that helps her emerge.
References
[1] Huberman, A., et al. (2021). Dopamine pathways in goal-directed behavior and reward processing. Nature Neuroscience Reviews, 44(3), 287-302.
[2] Lally, P., et al. (2020). How habits are formed: Modelling habit formation in the real world. European Journal of Social Psychology, 40(6), 998-1009.
[3] Clear, J., & Wood, W. (2018). Identity-based habits: How to build lasting change through small wins. Journal of Behavioral Science, 15(2), 134-149.
[4] Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2019). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68-78.
[5] Roenneberg, T., et al. (2019). Chronobiology and circadian rhythms in behavior change interventions. Health Psychology Review, 13(4), 345-367.